By Andrea F. Phillips
A voice was heard in Rama, lamentation and great mourning;
Rachel bewailing her children, and would not be comforted... Matt 2:18
Watching a pro-life documentary the other day, I was deeply moved as
girl after girl, woman after woman, and professional after professional
gave heart-wrenching testimonies of the emotional, spiritual and
psychological devastation our women, our modern “Rachels,” undergo in
this culture of abortion.
How did we get here? Why in the name of freedom, liberation, rights and choice are girls and women so battered?
“It Wasn’t My Choice”
One professional said, “Women are offered abortion in the name of ‘choice,’ yet the overwhelming answer to the question,
“Why did you do it?” is,
“It wasn’t my choice.”
And another young woman, her face a torrent of tears said, “Everyone
pushed me. And, in the end, I killed my child so everyone else could
feel free.”
What We Have Lost
As a young girl, Dad took me out to the garden bench one morning. It
wasn’t every day that I got to have a private interview with my father,
so I fixed my brown eyes on his face, and missed nothing of what he
said. He spoke of young womanhood, and of beauty as something proceeding
from the soul, rather than from a lot of make-up, clothes and trinkets.
He spoke of the Blessed Mother as a model for girls, a woman true to
her inner star, contrary to what the world promoted.
Child that I was, I only captured fragments of his meaning, except
that I knew that some things in my life were about to go the way of the
TV–out the window.
But I wasn’t worried. Dad knew best.
As it turned out, my sisters and I were homeschooled. We painted
paper dolls, studied art and music, learned cooking and baking, raised a
garden, loved the library, read lots of books, put on marionette shows,
watched select movies, played with friends, learned our Catholic Faith
inside out, and frequented the Sacraments–a life-style the world called
“restrictive.”
Meeting the World
And then the time came to start driving and working.
At my first job, I worked with women who wore little, swore plenty,
and headed for bars after work. There were the stories of boyfriends,
and sex, and cheating, and divorce, and drugs and alcohol, and
hangovers.
Then little sister came home one day wide-eyed from nursing school.
“We studied STDs today, and you will not believe the amount of such
diseases every single one of those girls have had. I felt like an
angel.”
And then there was another sister taking English in college. One day
the professor showed the class pictures of obscene sculptures claiming
that these were the artist’s way of dealing with the “Catholic Church’s
obsession with sex.” Up shot her hand, “Sorry, Sir, but it seems to me
that you are, rather, talking of the
artist’s obsession with the subject?”
Thanks, Mother Church!
In our “sheltered” Catholic home, while we were taught about the
“birds and the bees,” the subject was only one among many. Though in our
“restrictive” lifestyle we learned the moral code that regulated sexual
behavior, we handled rising hormones by steering our thoughts and
desires to positive, engaging activities, prayer and the Sacraments.
Interaction with boys was always in familial, communal settings, and
while marriage was a great, exciting ideal, we were taught that it was
the most serious commitment we’d ever make–and thus we must prepare.
We dressed modestly not out of prudishness but because there was
nothing more precious than a girl’s body, latent seat of life–and what
was sacred was veiled. Yet mother, in her common sense and good taste,
taught us style, and to use make-up to enhance, rather than to cover;
jewelry to add, rather than to glare.
Far from “sheltered” or “restricted,” I remember at fifteen feeling
cherished, respected – free. To arrive at my wedding aisle anything but a
virgin was unthinkable. I had a mind full of ideals, a heart full of
God’s life-giving principles, and a soul on fire with idealism. I wanted
to be an asset to the world, to use my talents to help build something
beautiful.
An Anti-Woman Culture
Unfortunately, “beautiful” is not what awaited the majority of my
gender, for the culture of “emancipation” is, ultimately, battering to
women.
As my life went on, with everything “free,” from free love to women’s
lib, I witnessed the breakdown of the last vestiges of modesty and
dignity in fashions; the destruction of the last ethical barricades.
With these trends came teen pregnancy, failed contraception, abortion,
STDs, anorexia, bulimia, substance abuse, and suicide.
As a result of all this “liberation,” countless girls became the sad
victims of the “culture of emancipation” turned “culture of death”–many
as young as eleven or twelve–about the age I was when Dad talked to me
on that garden bench.
Generous souls started organizations such as
Rachel’s Vineyard
and countless other institutions. Their goal: to either convince single
moms to have their babies, or to provide support for them, after
family, friends or boyfriends dropped them off at abortion clinics, and
the psychological, emotional trauma of the aftermath threatened to
engulf them.
Gently, with heart-warming charity, these organizations seek to pick
up the crushed, crumpled, tear-stained forms and, speaking to them of
love and forgiveness, endeavor to return them to their beautiful,
confident, glowing selves.
Woman’s Nature v. Lies of the Culture
A woman is made amazing. Hers is a nature so lofty that she
instinctively understands that love is nurturing, and is, therefore,
sacrificial. All she asks is to love and be loved so she can love
forever. And what is greater, more selfless, stronger, more inspiring
and propulsive than sacrificial love?
Hers is a mind so quick and intuitive, that she perceives things way
before they’ve been spelled out. A true woman has the natural
combination that is the spark of genius: heart and intuition.
But the culture lies to today’s growing girl. The culture tells her
she must be ashamed of her femininity, and of her maternal instinct. She
is told that compared to men, her femininity is weakness, and in light
of the culture, her maternal instincts misguided. Unless she succeeds in
the corporate world, she is a failure, and homes and children are only
for the under-achieved woman.
Logically thus, since her body is not necessarily or primarily made
to give life, but for pleasure and sexual satisfaction, she is told to
show it off, to use it to her maximum “advantage”– out with the blushing
bride, in with the voyeur.
But what the culture never tells the growing girl today is that the
blushing bride calls man to his noblest; the “voyeur” to his basest. As
Archbishop Fulton Sheen said, “So goes the dignity of women, so goes the
dignity of a nation.”
My mother’s version was, “Girls, sit on your mountain top and if he is worth his salt, he will climb it.”
What has more power–the ability to command or the ability to
influence? Dr. Alice Von Hildebrand, eminent Catholic philosopher and
lady, answers genially:
“Command changes actions. Influence changes beings.”
And what is a woman’s greatest genius but that of influence? And what
is the greatest secret of that genius but true, disinterested,
sacrificial love that doesn’t care for recognition but for results: the
good of those she loves.
To Dry Rachel’s Tears
It is time fathers again become teachers, guides and protectors of
their daughters and give them the religious/philosophical principles
that will aid them to choose husbands wisely. It is time fathers take
their daughters to the garden bench; better still, on occasional dates
to show how a gentleman treats a lady. It is time fathers take the
initiative of countering the culture of death with the life-giving
culture of Christ.
This Christ-centered enculturation must be done intelligently,
insightfully, with common sense, but also with strength. Above all, it
is time fathers give their daughters the supreme example of faith and
virtue, first by example and then by doctrine. To a girl, a godly father
is indeed, next to God. Brown, blue or green eyes will be raised to his
face unflinchingly seeking to be convinced by his conviction.
It’s time mothers teach their girls modesty, purity, culture,
manners, the arts of the home, and their priceless worth as the pearls
of great price of society. It’s time the “lady” (layman’s term for
“princess”) returns. It’s time that again a nation follows the dignity
of its women. It’s time that knights again climb mountain tops to meet
their ladies.
It’s time that we teach our daughters and sons how to prepare for
founding Christian homes, homes where every baby is welcomed, cherished
and raised, and yes, then yes, no child will be left behind.
It’s time that we stand in the gap for the preciousness of our young
women, and teach our girls to see through the great LIE, and then, only
then will our Rachels no longer cry.